Yesterday Jon commented how amazing are the sudden developments, like a light switch, of babies. One day they stare a little vacantly, little balls of goo. The very next day, it seems, they have direct eye contact, are alert and interactive, and seem to be gesturing and making meaningful noises, trying to communicate.
This week Oliver waved at me. He looked at me, intently, put his little hand high in the air, and did a little twirl with his wrist. I egged him on, waving excitedly above him, come on, Oliver, wave, wave, and he looked deeper into my eyes and rolled that little wrist around harder.
He sits up tall now and throws his arm in the air with a little "ugh!" like a kid who desperately wants to answer a question in class. Sometimes he puts his thumb and first finger together, making a little "o," and waves that hand around like a director bringing all the consonants together at the end of a phrase.
Oliver will sit in my lap for a whole book or two--short board books, of course. He likes to help me turn the pages. I was so excited to see his efforts go toward a meaningful end: turning the page. He's still wobbly and will thrust the book in all directions when we're finished reading.
Today Jon got half of a clap from Mr. O. Jon held one of Oliver's hands, and Mr. O banged it with the other hand in a half-clap. "Yeahh!!!!! Oliver" we yelled. We're excited to see him develop these milestones.
Audrey was born and she cried passionately in my arms before she was whisked away for her first bath. She cried at one in the morning all through my first shower. Her dad held her, spoke softly to her, bounced her, walked the room, and still she screamed. We made it through sleeplessness and ear-splitting screaming cries. When she calmed down, she was equally sweet, and jubilant. We loved her. We adored her. She was and remains our bright light, a dazzling fountain spewing joy.
Oliver was born and I noticed his voice—focused on it—right away. He was across the room, doted on by a swat team of pediatric medical staff. His voice was clear and beautiful, a chorus of bells. He had a sweet, delicious cry, a yearn, earnest and soft, like love. Back in our room, Oliver hardly cried. He winced if his bassinette was bumped in the least. He noticed bright lights, noise in the hall. But he rarely cried. When he did, I knew he was serious.
There are so many ways Audrey and Oliver are alike. They look like siblings—both favoring their dad especially when first born. They get along very well, and remind me of a couple of bunnies, hopping over each other and rolling about, fluffy little balls of warm delight. And they are each unique.
One of Audrey’s first tantrums that I remember was in the supermarket. Everyone heard. I held my ground, refusing to let her eat the entire shopping list. But it was with white knuckles that I finished shopping. My head ached and my ears rang afterwards. By then she was laughing.
Oliver’s first tantrum was almost sweet. He was sitting in the floor and simply leaned forward, gently laying his right ear on the ground, and let out the loudest, most pathetic cry of anguish. I hurt for him, yet had to smile. Oh, Oliver, it will be okay. Oh, baby. I almost giggled, so tortured his cry for something small, thinking of life’s cruel boundaries.
Now that Audrey is two, she loves to take her bitter vitamins, sucking them from the dropper like candy. She has always liked taking medicines. Oliver winces and thrashes, shivers with disgust. In fact, he won’t eat, for that matter, anything but cereal. Audrey ate everything but bananas.
When Audrey was an infant, I could hardly leave her. I never left her with a sitter for more than an hour, tried to make that during her nap, and always kept my cell phone in hand. I was a nervous cat. She was a clingy kitten with claws dug in deep. If she realized I was gone, it was almost unendurable—for her and the care-giver.
Oliver is happy so long as he is not ignored. He has worked easily with every loving caregiver we’ve had, and I’ve felt free to go on excursions up to two or three hours from the time he was quite young. I still hate to be gone for more than an hour, but I know Oliver will be okay, really; there’s far less panic.
Audrey seemed tough and determined—as long as she felt secure. She might get mad and scream, and scream without forgetting the object of her desire. She has a deep curiosity that delights in goodness, and knows what is good for her (for the most part). Both kids do. Oliver will cry if I look at him wrong—a very pathetic wail, so sad, so loud. He seems more hurt than mad. Even his deepest angst comes to an end before too long. He doesn’t stay bitter.
Audrey slept through the night from very early on. Jon and I had a few nights of standing outside her door, shivering in terror as she screamed, both determined to wait ten minutes before “rescuing her,” trying to help her go to sleep on her own. She will sleep through most anything once she gets to sleep.
Oliver slept with us at times, stayed in his bassinette too long, and was quickly whisked up at the slightest peep, least he wake his sister. I tried to let everyone else rest, at the expense of my own sleep and getting Oliver in a good routine. I’m still nursing my nine-month-old a couple of times during the night. Jon has joked that if a mouse farts Oliver will wake. It’s true: one toe in his room, and the nap is over, he’s up in the night, and he may not go back to sleep.
Audrey’s smiles come from a specific delight. She focuses on a person or a thought and peaks a brilliant beam, showers a fountain of giggles. Oliver will look at me from across the room and smile. He smiles so many times during the day that it’s as if he is a doll from Santa’s workshop, a smiling wonder.
Perhaps the cutest and most joyful moments are when the kids are together. Audrey notices Oliver and cries, “Baby!!!!!Baby! Baby! Baby!” She giggles at him and shares with him, hugs him, pats him, looks out for him, and tries to keep him out of the cat bowl. Oliver has a Nancy Reagan gaze for his sister. When she is in the room, no one else exists. She is his universe. He looks at her, and smiles. He laughs a great suck-in laugh, just seeing her. It’s a marvelous orbit they share.
Oliver had his 9-month well-baby appointment last week. He weighed 21.3 pounds, was 29 1/4 inches long, and had a head circumference of 46 (that must be cm).
I was a little worried because Oliver changed percentile on his growth curve, moving down a tad on the scale, but the pediatrician said not to worry. She said he might be finding his true self. And he has been moving more, crawling and cruising. Plus, Oliver refuses to eat much of his baby food. She said, "he's doing this to himself;" well, that didn't make me feel better. So she suggested that he eat more finger foods. We pushing those, watching him closely, as we hand him whole slices of fruit, bread, and whatever seems soft enough. Most of it goes all over him, as the pediatrician said it would. But he loves the independence.
I was so worried, though, that it took a lot of convincing from the doctor and the nurse to get me out of the clinic. They re-weighed and re-measured him (at least one measurement had been off). Then they both looked at me and said, "He looks long. He looks solid. There are marshmallow babies and Michelin Man babies. Yours is a Michelin Man." The picture in my mind was of two equally fluffy white blobs, one round and one with rolls. But what she meant was that Oliver is impressively "solid" and strong.
I had to agree: he is solid--a very handsome and healthy boy.